Silver Linings

In the summer of 2014 I interviewed for a job with Constellation, a national competitive energy provider based in Baltimore. I got the job, as a contractor, but the start date kept getting pushed back, into August, then September. My frustration grew with each passing day, as I was very anxious to get to work. At last, I got a confirmed start date, in the third week of October.

During this time, my dad was in and out of the hospital, so I was spending a lot of time visiting him and helping my mom in his absence.

As it turned out, my dad passed away on October 14. I had been able to talk with him, hear stories from his childhood and early adulthood that I hadn’t heard before. We connected in ways we never would have been able to had I been working full-time. Then, after he died, I was able to help my mom make the funeral arrangements and, with my brother, help her get through the first few days of life without her husband of 66 years. In hindsight, the delay of starting my job turned out to be a blessing.

Fast forward a year and a half: In February of 2016, I was selected to participate in the Great Chesapeake Bay Swim by lottery from among entrants who had qualified. I have done the annual 4.4-mile swim, which takes place the second Sunday in June, in four previous years, but I really wanted to do it as a 60-year-old.

I had been unable to practice from October through December due to a dodgy rotator cuff. With rest and then physical therapy, in January I was able to begin the difficult task of training pretty much from ground zero in terms of endurance and strength. By April I had gotten back into a semblance of shape. But in early May, I developed a pinched nerve in my neck that rendered me incapable of swimming. I scrambled to my orthopedist (with whom I am far too familiar), who prescribed another regimen of PT. It hasn’t worked yet, and a few weeks ago I gave up on doing the Bay swim this year. I was tremendously disappointed.

Around the same time I gave up on this year’s swim, I got a call in the middle of the night from my mom. She had fallen in her independent living apartment in the retirement community where she lives and was in a great deal of pain. Medics took her to the hospital, where she remained for three days. She was discharged to the short-term rehab facility at her community and has been there since.

The time entailed in visiting with her, meeting with her support team, managing her finances, and helping her decide her future path is significant.

Had I been on my training schedule, my non-work time would have been devoted to swimming in open water one day a week and in a pool two or three times a week. Instead, I have been able to focus on something far more important – the wellbeing of my mom.

Additionally, the Bay Swim coincides with my oldest daughter’s birthday. On the years I swim, focus regrettably has been on the swim instead of her.

Like the frustrating delays of my onboarding at Constellation, the injury that kept me out of this year’s Bay Swim has a silver lining. I have been able to prioritize caring for my mom and celebrating Kate’s birthday. Is this a serendipitous coincidence, or a larger plan at work? Who can say? The bottom line is I’m thankful that I’ve been able to focus on the things that really matter. Maybe I’ll get another chance to do the Bay Swim – and maybe not. Whatever comes my way, I’ll assume it’s for a reason.