Kate's and Steve's Wedding!

Our oldest child Kate was married on July 15 to Stephen Ritchie. They were married at our parish of 28 years, St. Louis Church in Clarksville, Maryland, and we held a reception for them in Pasadena at a beautiful venue on the Chesapeake Bay.

Donna’s family, mostly from New Jersey but also Detroit, California and New York, started arriving Friday. I really enjoy spending time with them – I think of Donna’s siblings as my own brothers and sisters, and her mom as mine.

The weather had been brutally hot and humid all week, but we got enough of a respite that we were able to sit comfortably on the deck, against a backdrop of Donna’s beautiful flower baskets; the pines, oaks and a giant Douglas fir that provide privacy, shade and nesting places for birds; and a lawn that hadn’t yet been turned to dust as it always does by late July.

After the rehearsal at the church Friday evening, Steve’s parents, Bonnie and Buddy, hosted a wonderful dinner at a restaurant in Ellicott City. Several people told heartwarming stories about Kate or Steve. After dinner, some of the wedding party headed to a nearby bar. Donna and I went home to bed. We had had a few sleepless nights sweating the details, and knew we had plenty more to get through.

The next morning was a whirlwind. At 8am a makeup artist and a hairstylist came to embellish Kate, who had spent the night with us, and Donna and Eileen, our second child and Kate’s matron of honor. I mostly hid upstairs.

At 11:30 the bridesmaids and photographer arrived. He was incredibly efficient and had a knack for making us all feel at ease. When pictures were finished, we officially inducted the non-family members of the party into the Douglass clan by including them in a family shot. Then the bridesmaids took a car to the church, and Donna, Kate and I followed in another.

Kate looked stunning, with her long blonde hair curled and swept to one side, braids pulled back in an intricate weave, and a spectacular beaded gown. She has never looked so beautiful and radiant.

We assembled at the church, and when it was time to walk Kate down the aisle, I struggled to stay composed. I can’t describe how happy I felt for her. She is such a remarkable person, and has faced her share of burdens. If anyone deserved a day of unsurpassed happiness, it was Kate.

The wedding ceremony was beautiful. Kate’s and Steve’s love for each other was obvious – especially during their vows. I think everyone in attendance was deeply moved.

Donna was the wedding planner. She arranged the complex transportation for the various parties, from our house or the hotel to the church, from the church or the hotel to the reception, and back. She helped Kate with ordering flowers for the church, flowers for the reception venue, flowers for the house – many, many flowers. The world’s bees were not happy. And she, with help from Kate and Eileen, tended to a thousand other details.

The community at St. Louis, where she works, is close and supportive. We are friends with the former director of music at the church, Paul Carroll, a world-class organist, and he graciously agreed to travel from where he now lives in New Jersey to serve as the organist. A parishioner, Betsy Bates, whom we have known for years, cantered beautifully. Monsignor Joseph Luca, who has been the pastor at St. Louis for close to 20 years and married Eileen and Andrew, officiated.

One of Donna’s colleagues recommended the caterer, Uptown Catering, which is owned by parishioners. They own several reception venues, including Celebrations At the Bay, which Donna and Kate visited and immediately knew was The Place. Situated on the Chesapeake Bay where the Patapsco River it feeds into it, it featured a wide lawn with a gazebo, benches and Adirondack chairs, with breathtaking views. Facing away from the water was a large, air-conditioned tent with festive white lights strung around, tables along the perimeter beautifully set for 150 guests, and a large dance floor in the middle. Kate and Steve sat at a sweetheart table at one end, with the sound system and DJ at the other.

Kate’s first dance with Steve was unforgettable. She had recorded “Feels Like Home” at a local studio and the DJ played it – the first time Steve had heard it. There wasn’t a dry eye in the place. That was followed by Steve dancing with his mother Bonnie while Buddy played acoustic guitar and sang Eric Clapton’s “Let It Grow.” 

Then for Kate’s dance with me, she had chosen Eva Cassidy’s “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.” The significance of that is that we first knew of Kate’s interest in singing when as a three-year-old she would sing Judy Garland’s version in her squeaky little voice.

Then it was time for my welcome and toast to the bride and groom. I was an emotional wreck. I had been rehearsing for days in the bathroom in front of a mirror, but I couldn’t keep my emotions in check. The morning of the wedding I decided to cut out the toughest parts, and keep it simple.

It didn’t help. After all my practicing, I bombed it. Forgot to welcome some groups, screwed up names, left out key points. A disaster. Fortunately, Eileen gave a wonderful toast to the bride, and Donna’s blessing, with a poignant story about Kate’s and Steve’s shared faith, and Steve’s support for Kate, was magnificent.

After a delicious dinner, the dancing began. Kate and Steve had created a great playlist, including Frank Sinatra, classic rock, Motown, and contemporary dance music. Nobody danced as much as Donna, but there were a lot of dancing bodies on the floor throughout the evening.

At the end of the night, a bus transported the out-of-towners back to the hotel. Donna and I took a car home, changed, and met many of Donna’s family and out-of-town friends at Facci, a favorite restaurant of ours across the street from the hotel. Donna had arranged with the manager to keep the bar open late – and we took full advantage, about 30 or more of us staying till around midnight, and a hard-core group keeping the friendly, accommodating staff busy until the wee hours.

Uptown brought trays of breakfast to the house the next morning. Good thing. Almost everyone from the hotel stopped by to eat and share stories before heading back home.

This was the second large-scale wedding Donna and I have hosted – Eileen’s marriage to Andrew Swanekamp seven years earlier was the first. They were very different affairs, at different locations, but both were fantastic, joyous occasions that sent our daughters off on their new lives with a big show of love and support.

To Kate and Steve: Provide a place of peace, safety and comfort for each other. Be each other’s guardian angel. Don’t just say I love you, do I love you. And Steve, remember who is always right. We love you!