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The Curse

I have more blessings than I can count.  Yet, like all of us in this crazy, incomprehensible zero-sum universe, there are some things on the negative side of my ledger.  One such deficit: I’m cursed to be a sports fan in the Washington, D.C. area. 

My teams—the Washington ‘Skins (I’m boycotting its racist name), Washington Wizards and Baltimore Orioles (The Washington Nationals didn’t arrive until my allegiance to the O’s was fatefully cemented)—have dismal historical records during my fandom.

 The ‘Skins during the past 21 years, which include the six seasons prior to Daniel Snyder buying the team in 1999, have made the playoffs just four times.  Twice they were eliminated in the first, Wild Card, round.  Last season they won their division with rookie phenom Robert Griffin III at quarterback; this year they returned to earth with a 3-13 record amid the swirls of factional dysfunction: bickering between the owner and coach; between the coach and the general manager; among the quarterback, the quarterbacks coach (who also is the coach’s son), and the quarterback’s father; among players; among coaches; and, likely, among the cheerleaders.  This is, after all, Washington, the seat of our government.


Under Snyder’s 14 years of ownership, the ‘Skins have had seven head coaches.  To keep the pattern going, Snyder fired Coach Mike Shanahan the day after this year’s season ended for the team, so there will be yet another coaching change.  Apparently we have a brilliant owner (he has tripled the value of the franchise) but the coaches he hires are or become stupid and incompetent once they don the burgundy and gold.  If Snyder would stop the carousel of coaches and simply coach the team himself I’m sure we would be perennial winners.

The Wizards also are historic losers.  Over the last 25 seasons, they have made the playoffs five times and were eliminated in the first round four times.  Their last playoff season was 2007-2008.  But the Wizards (who changed their name from the ill-chosen Bullets in 1997), have re-made their roster with a balanced and capable team; have grown-ups as owner, president and coach; are within a couple games of .500; and currently have the third-best record in the horrendous and hapless Eastern Conference.  There is cautious optimism, with emphasis on cautious.

I’m a casual fan of the ‘Skins and Wizards, and not at all a fan of hockey, where the Washington Capitals usually make the playoffs and are eliminated in the first round.  The NFL, NBA and NHL are, for me, sideshows (in the case of the NHL, no-show) to the main event: Major League Baseball.

The once-proud Orioles muddled through 14 inglorious seasons with losing records before finishing in second place in the tough American League East and making the playoffs in 2012, Manager Buck Showalter’s first full season.  This past season they also had a winning record, but won six fewer games than in 2012 and missed the postseason. 

The stated goals of General Manager Dan Duquette for the off-season were to add a quality starting pitcher, a left-handed designated hitter, a left fielder and to improve the bullpen.  So far Duquette hasn’t accomplished any of his goals and the team is arguably worse off than when the season ended.  Starting pitcher Scott Feldman and starters Brian Roberts (second base) and Nate McLouth (left field) all left for other teams without the Orioles making them offers.  The closer, Jim Johnson, who recorded the most saves in all of baseball the past two seasons, was traded for a journeyman second baseman and a player to be named.

Duquette has been fairly active this offseason—by my count he has brought in 12 players so far, including minor-league deals, through signings and trades—but so far has not brought a proven everyday player or starting pitcher to Charm City.  Now crowding our 40-man roster are newly acquired AAA-caliber players, none of whom are household names even to serious baseball observers.  Liam Hendriks?  Kelvin De La Cruz?  Brad Brach?  Edgmer Escolona?  Those, with proven reliever Ryan Webb, are our new pitchers.  The club had a deal with Grant Balfour, a top-tier closer, but backed out after reviewing his medical records, a decision that may give other potential players and their agents pause before negotiating with Baltimore.  Our new position players similarly have been plucked from other teams’ discount racks.

Some of these lumps of coal (to switch the metaphor) may turn out to be diamonds who find roles that help the team win.  I certainly hope so.  And to be fair to Duquette, there is still time to sign an impactful free agent or two or make a significant trade.  But with six weeks before pitchers and catchers report for spring training, the clock is ticking and the strategy appears to be to conserve, rather than invest.

Being a sports fan in D.C. tests one’s loyalty and mettle.  The logical course of action would be to walk away, stop investing emotional capital, find other outlets for whatever itch caring about sports teams scratches.  But what’s the fun in that? 

On Opening Day—12 weeks away—every team is tied for first place.  Go O’s!

Copyright © 2014.  All rights reserved.

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